Jessica’s Writing Rules

  1. Speeling errors are to distracting and make you’re writing seem lazy.
  2. AVOID ALL CAPS AND EMOTIONAL PUNCTUATION!!!
  3. u shud not use txt language in ur book unless the MC is sending a txt. Why do u want 2 contribute to the laziness of writing? So pls don’t do this. Thx lol.
  4. Don’t be repetitive. I mean it. Don’t be repetitive. Also, watch out for for repeated words.
  5. Even though you are a sexy hunk whose #%* I’d like to #%*, you still shouldn’t have unnecessary sex scenes.
  6. There is no fucking reason to use excessive profanity.
  7. OMG, write like you have an education. When you, like, write like a teenager, your credibility is going to be sooo shot. So you should, like totally be professional in all published works and stuff.
  8. Punctuation should, be used correctly. Remember what your English teach told you about comma splices, they are erroneous. Run-on sentences are equally wrong you have to remember to punctuate your sentences.
  9.         pRoper formatting Gives your book a more

professional appearance.

10. You is incorrect when your subjects and verbs don’t agree.

11. Proofread carefully. It’s so easy leave a word out.

12. You should just plain avoid at all costs excessive wordiness.

13. Leave out irrelevant scenes and details. Today, when I was having dinner, I asked my husband if he thought I should write a blog post about writing. We were at Dairy Queen, and the baby was being good and eating her food, so we started talking about proper writing.

14. Avoid excessive backstory. I went to Armstrong State University, which was then called Armstrong Atlantic State University. Before graduating in 2003, my professor, who earned his PhD from University of Florida, made us read some novels that were more full of backstory than actual plot. This professor’s pet peeve was the use of parenthetical comments (I think he’s just mad because the Gators lost that year to the Bulldogs).

15. Some of your readers are not going to understand foreign phrases, n’e-est pas? S’il vous plait, write en anglais.  They are ok when used raramente, but don’t make it so your readers need un diccionario to understand tu libro.

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4 comments on “Jessica’s Writing Rules

  1. Finally someone commented on foreign languages in books! I thought it was just me that got Google Translate up to try and figure it out. This one time, I Google-Translated a phrase, and nothing even came up for it!
    I agree with everything on this list!

    Like

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