It has always been a dream of mine to be the female Weird Al Yankovich. Parody-writing is a lot of fun. Here is a parody of the song “Money for Nothing” by Dire Straits that summarizes my novel Ice. Enjoy!
Money for Twenty
(I want my, I want my lost money…I want my, I want my lost money…I want my, I want my lost money…I want my, I want my lost money)
Now look at them weirdos
What the hell’re they doing?
They act like they got some kind of ESP
But it ain’t working, that’s the way we’ll do it,
Money for twenty, or we’ll let them freeze.
Now that old building, that is where we’ll do it
Let me tell ya, that cop is dumb
Maybe then we’ll take his daughter with the others
We need to get a hold of the rich one.
We got to hurry up and get this plan moving
Cuz we got spaces for twenty
We got to get back Manuela’s millions
We got to get back to Miami…
Old Man Watson is the mayor of this hellhole
Yeah, buddy, he’s been hiding here
Old Man Watson thought he was gonna outsmart us
Old Watson’s daughter, she’s a billionaire.
Get ’em in there! Now!
Look at that, look there…
She should’ve known to stop all that yellin’
She should’ve known to shut her mouth
Now look at that blood spot that happened when we crushed her skull in, yeah
Against the pool side
Now what’s in here? What’s that? Why are my eyes stinging?
There’s something in the air and now it’s hard to breathe
Ah, this ain’t working. I’m done with this shit, screw it.
Money for twenty, or we let them freeze.
Listen here, now. This ain’t working. This ain’t how to do it. They took too long and we let them freeze.
This ain’t working. This ain’t how to do it.
Money for twenty or we let them freeze
(Money for twenty, we let them freeze….)
(I want my, I want my, I want my lost money…)
This ain’t working!